awkward pants: fashion and community

I was sitting in my office recently when I heard a conversation in the next room that caused my ears to perk. It was filled with a bunch of "exciting" buzz words like "community" and "discipleship" and "cluster" and "huddle". The whole purpose of the conversation seemed to be trying to find ways of recreating a feeling of intimacy within a church structure designed for anonymity. this is a big task.. and to hear the bits of conversation was humorous in an ironic sort of way.

The whole concept kind of reminds me of pre-worn fake-ripped cookie cutter-faded jeans.

Do you remember when you would go to the store and find a standard pair of jeans. You had some options... the right cut, color, brand, and size... you know, the basics.


Once you had the right pair of jeans it was up to you and life to determine how they would take on a unique look.

That small rip that you patched it up has a story behind it.... and you can tell it.

Why yes that is a paint stain, because I was painting in these jeans and some dripped... you might also appreciate the oil stain near it.

That mild discoloration in the denim? It is from dirt, sweat, and life...

The faded denim was a symbol of months, maybe years of commitment and bonding... If you had bought them that way it would have been awkward, but because they shaped to you, they are familiar... and you are dreading the point at which the knees bust apart, because you know that at a certain point... jeans are just done and you will have to start with a fresh pair and allow life to shape them uniquely.


Then one day... somebody decided to skip the important part and sell an imposter. The pre-worn fake-ripped cookie cutter faded-jeans entered the scene... the worst thing to happen to denim since the words "acid" and "washed" decided to join forces and asked the 80's for fashion advice.

There they hang... out of place. There is no unique history behind the alterations... the person who buys them has no commitment or past with them... and it is very apparent. They just look bad and wrong and terribly awkward on people.... and are stupid.

... and lame.

The real thing is much better, but takes time and commitment.

I think the same is true for intimacy within a small group of people. We can structure things efficiently, and use the right group-building resource pack, and be strategic in cultivating community through our advertising and terminology... some of that might guide things in a good direction. At the end of the day though, intimacy takes time, commitment, shared experiences, converstaion, etc... Building a community is not a clean and simple process... it is messy and it takes real sacrifice.

Your jeans won't fade or rip or get paint stains if you don't put them on and live life.

Your community will not take on a unique shape or grow in intimacy unless you are willing to do the work it takes to allow change to take place.

If true sacrifice and self-disclosure are not involved, the closest thing you will have to "community" is the pre-worn fake-ripped cookie cutter-faded jeans version of it... and that is just awkward.

authenticity is a good thing.