I have not been writing for a little while. I wanted to give an opportunity to some of my friends who had some thoughts to share and it has been a refreshing time for me in one regard... So, thank you to all of you who participated as guest bloggers, I deeply enjoyed your entries.
I have also seen that in an absence of writing i feel a little stale... It is almost as if my thoughts have been blocked up and it might take a little bit of time for the wheels to start turning again. I should have kept writing, at least keeping a back-log of entries or maybe writing things using those primitive hand tools that mark paper that seem increasingly rare to stumble across. Will kids in twenty years even know how to create basic characters using a pen and paper?
just a thought.
here is another...
I want to believe that there are things that each of us have that when we continue to pour time and energy into, they will somehow fill us with a greater sense of joy, accomplishment, satisfaction, fulfillment in life. Maybe these things are linked to deep desires that we find inside of ourselves.. maybe it is a piece of who you are that is so essential to your being, that once you stumble across it, or pull it out of you, or have someone else stumble across it and pull it out of you... you will continue to crawl back to it, even when exhausted and empty, and surprise yourself with how valuable it is to you... not just because you "like it".. but because your health and balance.. your stability is dependent upon it.
I think the specific manifestations of these core desires are not as important as what is at the center of it.. like a spectrum of color breaking uniquely from a single source of light, we will find different representations of those deep longings inside of us. Why are we compelled to move forward? Why do we continue to create art and music? Why do we still find our breath leave us as we witness the sunset over the ocean, or flowers breaking through the dirt, or a heart piercing string ensemble, or as we look deeply into our lovers eyes?
I feel like my wheels are spinning but I don't feel like I can control where they lead me... or maybe I just don't want to. I feel a need to move, to live, to create, to experience, to share in my discoveries and to challenge others to do the same.
Could it be that we are compelled to pursue these longings because after we have come to the end of the road a hundred times over we will continue to come to the same conclusions but that they give us life? Will the pursuit of our hearts really bring us to one final answer to our longings?
it might. but my experience has been that once you arrive at the ends of these various roads you reach the source of true life, love, joy, and inspiration... more roads... and they send you even deeper into the desires of your heart.
I find it sad that we are willing to give up what brings us to life for what we feel we need in order to survive... don't allow your violin to cover with a shroud of dust or for your callouses to go soft... continue to rediscover who you were created to be and run after that until your heart explodes.
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